Lots of mirth at KGB annual prize giving

There was lots of laughter and good-natured ribbing at the annual KGB Golf lunch at the Royal Port Alfred Golf Club (RPAGC) recently.

The golfing section, which even has members overseas, keep a meticulous record of all statistics, including most games played, win ratios based on percentage of games played, most 2-clubs, stroke averages, top scores and of course who gets the dreaded Hamer en Sukkel trophy for the year, based on how many times you were lumped with the losing covey.

This year the Hamer and Sukkel went to Jan Immelman, who said: “Thanks to all the guys who helped me win this. I hope someone else will have the honour next year.”

The Order of Merit, for most points, went to Dave Curran, who also had the highest win ratio, but as members can only win one prize, the win ratio prize went to runner-up John Crandon.

Len Bohnen had the top stroke average, and statistician Andy Stembridge mentioned Bohnen’s inspired win on November 30, the last game of the year included in the annual statistics.

Arnie Schultz had the most 2-clubs, and although Paul Fryer was due the loyalty prize for most games played, it went to Heinz Czepluch, as Stembridge said Fryer had handed out too many fines to be considered for loyalty.

The day’s golf before the lunch attracted a big field of 56 players, with the average number of players per game being 34.99.

A total of 95 games were played this year, with 3,324 rounds of golf.

Fryer had fun dispensing more fines at the lunch, including to a player who used someone else’s cart to chase after his ball, and to someone identified as a fish (f*** I’m still here).

He said the money raised through fines throughout the year went towards fish and chips lunches during the year, but Friday’s fines went to the kitchen staff at the RPAGC.

When they have golf days for the NSRI, Hospice or SPCA, the fines go those organisations.

The KGB golfers also sponsor an annual braai for the greens staff.

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