“Not in our name!”
That was the call that boys attending an event in Marselle on the eve of National Women’s Day were urged to take up. The message from the police and community leaders was clear: gender based violence (GBV) is never acceptable. Sergeant Mziyaduma DIli, whose idea to was to hold the event, said, “If we can teach young boys to respect the girls they share a classroom with today, maybe in future it will come naturally to them to respect the women they will work and live alongside in future.”
The real message, though, and the one that Dili and his co-organisers hoped would stick, was carried by handing over boxes of sanitary pads for the girls at local schools. That gesture and the words that went with it made the link between shaming and other forms of bullying that young girls can experience when they menstruate, and the gender based violence that wracks the nation.
Dili was transferred to Kenton-on-Sea Police Station in November last year, having worked at SAPS in Alexandria for the previous 11 years.
“What I see here is exactly the same as what I saw there,” he told his attentive audience.
He explained how, when someone came into the community service centre with a problem, his task as a police officer didn’t end with formally processing a complaint.
“To understand the root of the problem, you need to understand the situation where the incident took place.”
Through that kind of engagement with the community he served, Dili had learnt that in many households, young girls (and boys) lived with their grandmothers and grandfathers.
“It’s not easy for them to talk openly with their grandparents, and even if a girl does speak up, often their grandparents don’t know how to help them.”
Many parents and guardians actually can’t help them explained Mieta Williams, CPF chairperson for 38 police stations in the Sarah Baartman District.
“There are families that don’t even have R5 to buy the cheapest eight-pack sold in the shops,” she said. “They literally don’t even have that.”
On average, a girl needs two of those packs over the five or so days her period lasts, Williams said.
Dili spoke about parenting.
“When I was collecting sanitary pads for this project, I discovered that there are men who are ashamed to be seen buying pads for their daughters, wives or sisters,” Dili said.
“But if you are ashamed of buying sanitary pads for the girls or women in your family, it means you are ashamed of them.”
Kenton-on-Sea community policing head Sergeant Thulani Thole, who worked closely with DIli in the project, said it was ironic that condoms were handed out for free at taverns and other entertainment spaces, but that girls and women had to pay for sanitary pads.
“It’s high time we write to Parliament and ask our president that sanitary pads are given to girls for free.”
Thole said their plan was to drop a box of sanitary towels at every school in the area, every month.
“We don’t want any child to miss a single day of school because they are having their period,” Thole said.
Thole also slammed homophobia. Referring to a recent unspecified case of harassment at a local school, he said, “We have heard of a gay learner being bullied.
“We can’t have [bullies] in our community. You need to respect everyone the way you want to be respected.”
Thole was among several speakers who spoke about taverns that allowed underage drinking.
“In Alexandria there was a tavern that was full of school children, during school hours,” Thole said.
“We closed down that tavern, and seven years later, it has not opened its doors.”
“We are coming to those taverns [that allow children to drink there]. We will close your doors!”
While the official processes for closing down a venue that flouted the law were extensive and drawn out, when children were involved, those processes were overridden by the urgency of protecting them and closing a venue’s doors could be swift.
Thole told the gathering of local schoolchildren, “I will eventually leave my office, but I need someone from here to fill my shoes.”
Williams urged the Kenton-on-Sea members to spread the message of their attitude and actions to other police stations.
“Please teach them that there is no shame in supporting a woman.”
Zone Commander Colonel Johan Botha addressed the children about the importance of making good decisions in the face of peer pressure, and said it was essential that children receive support at home.
“Always do the right thing at the right time and in the right place,” Botha said.
The guest speaker was Eric Dili, a former convict turned motivational speaker. He spoke about the terrible damage that drugs were doing to young people.
“You can rather kill me than feed our children, the future of our country, with drugs,” he said. “We are tired of the fact that drug dealers are comfortable in our streets. I would rather go back to prison than watch drugs destroy our young people.”
Eric DIli emphasised the importance of role models.
“Every youngster who does not have a father in their lives – if you are a man, you are their father,” DIli said to applause.
Schools represented were Nompucuko Primary, Ikamvelisizwe Secondary, Ekuphumleni Combined, Klipfontein Primary and Kenton Primary.
Organised by SAPS Kenton-on-Sea, partners and sponsors included the Periwinkle Trust, the Kenton Community Camera Fund, Kenton and Boiesmansriviermond Night Watch and CPF, SAPS Safety and Liaison, the Moeg Gesukkel Fishing Cooperative. Kenton SPAR, BUCO Kenton.
Others who addressed the audience included BUCO’s Phumzile Jacobs and Ward 3 councillor Zandisile Myali.
The award-winning Ekuphumleni Full Service School choir entertained and impressed throughout the morning’s programme and Ikamvelisizwe Grade 8, Amvuyele Mazana inspired with a fiery oratory celebrating women that drew cheers and applause.
- This article was first published in Talk of the Town, August 15, 2024. The newspaper serving the communities of Ndlambe and the Sunshine Coast, with a weekly wrap of Makhanda news, is available at stores from early on Thursdays.
